will england :: humor : Physics and Hell

Subject: Phyzics and Hell

This is a true story:
*** EVEN if you get a little lost, read to the end, which is very funny.
A thermodynamics professor had written a take-home exam for his graduate
students. It had one question.
Is hell exothermic or endothermic? Support your answer with a proof.
For Non-science majors, exothermic is when something releases heat and
endothermic is when something generates heat. Most of the students wrote
proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
"First, we postulate that if souls exist, they must have some mass. If
they do, then a mole of souls can also have a mass. So, at what rate
are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving. I think
that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to hell, it will not
leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for souls entering hell,
let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.
Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their
religion, you will go to hell. Since there are more than one of these
religions and people do not belong to more than one religion, we can
project that all people and all souls go to hell. With birth and death
rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in hell to increase
exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change in volume in hell. Boyle's Law
states that in order for the temperature and pressure in hell to stay
the same, the ratio of the mass of souls and volume needs to stay
constant.
#1 So, if hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which
souls enter hell, then the temperature and pressure in hell will
increase until all hell breaks loose.
#2 Of course, if hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase
of souls in hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until hell
freezes over.
So which is it? If we accept the postulate given me by Jennifer Smith
during Freshman year, and take into account the fact that I still have
not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then #2 cannot be
true, and hell is exothermic."


The student got an A.


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Updated Tuesday, February 28 2006 @ 01:29pm